They say you don't know what you've got until it's gone.
Or that you don't know how much something meant until it's taken away from you.
I rage, and then I cry.
One moment I had the world at my feet and the next, the rug was pulled from underneath me in one fell swoop.
Someone out there is pretending to me.
Someone has taken something that once belonged to me.
It was a my safe space; my identity, a creative outlet; a place of comfort and solidarity; a community who always had my back and they had mine.
And now. It's gone.
I've been shut out from the world - my world.
I've become a shadow of myself and I've never felt more alone.
The thing about online identity theft and being 'hacked' is that it's insidious.
The sky's the limit. It's fast. Any time, anywhere; they can do anything - and the worst part? You can't do a damn thing about it.
Instead of asking myself "why me?", it's "what next?"
Not knowing what the next day will bring is the worst part.
I'm broken in pieces. My trust in others is shattered. I don't know what's real anymore and everyone's playing a sick joke on me.
And so I rage. And I cry.
It's the helplessness. The hopelessness. The grief. Losing something so suddenly brings me to my knees and the world as I knew it will never be the same again.
They say everyone has cracks in themselves because that's how the light gets in.
But I'm disintegrating in ways I never thought possible.
Around me, life bursts with miracles.
But right now, its so hard to see through my brokenness.
Comments